We are not our labels

I know that this is something that is an ongoing debate at the moment. People are constantly making up new labels to further understand themselves, their lived experiences, and in an effort of better understanding other people around them.

And I can understand the desire to do this. As human beings, we crave order to all the maddening chaos that we encounter on a daily basis. We need this safe haven of neatly printed boxed, labelled and neat, putting a bow on top. That way we can safely put it in a shelf, pack it away and not have to crack that box back open until next Christmas.

I recognized today how I was starting to fall into one of those boxes. And that box was called anxiety.

You see, this is a topic that we, often individually, and society at large, are all very familiar with. Anxiety and depression are things that we grapple within ourselves, within our families, in our partners, in our workplaces and children. It is a good thing that we are open and honest about this lived experience, and people are much more open and conscious about the truth of it. I’m not negating the existence of these things — they one hundred percent live inside of us, and are very much states of being not all people figure how to navigate. Also, I do think it is an important piece of a puzzle to better understanding ourselves, what we are going through, which help lead us to figure out with resources and things we need to tap into to better our existence. Having a diagnosis is not the issue I am debating here. The limitations of the label being a constant and the diagnosis being the thing that one identifies with, that is the issue I am discussing.

Back to my personal experience.

Let’s rewind a bit. Okay….back to when I was five.

My parents had been freshly separated, and my mom and I had moved out of the house. We moved into a new home with another single mother of two daughters, one one year older, one year younger. We became fast friends. However, I didn’t have as much luck in elementary school. Girls were mean. You know how it is. There was a lot of upheaval and things going on in my life, and my kindergarten teacher (without doing any tests, let me tell you) told my mom I had ADD and that I should be put on Ridalin. My mom, being a very wise woman, didn’t put her daughter on meds (thanks, Mom!). I got through this period relatively unscathed, but continued to be bullied up until grade ten when I finally mustered up the courage to tell my bully to back off.

However, in the mess of this, grade nine was a really hard year. No one talked about anxiety at the time, so they didn’t know what was happening — now, as an adult and having dealt with panic attacks in my 20’s, I know it to have been panic attacks. Or anxiety attacks. I’m still not super clear on the difference, and if there is one… I don’t know that it matters, not for me, personally, at least.

Anyway, the doctor told me I had hypoglycemia, and I continued on my life thinking that was the issue until I was 23. I did blood work at that point and surprise, surprise! I came back totally negative. So, again, I was stumped. Anyway, I did some digging and figured out what had and continued(s) to happen — when I feel uncomfortable, boxed in, out of control of my life- I experience anxiety.

I emphasize the word experience. Today I realized how I’m going to be careful with labels, with both myself and others. A family friend and I were texting about the current state of affairs and how I have been seeing some trusted friends and talking to them to keep my mental health going, and she said “people with anxiety don’t do well in unusual situations.” I realized that this was totally brought on by myself- I must have unconsciously identified with this label, instead of realizing that it is a UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE. The more people I talk to, the more I realize it’s totally normal and just part of the human experience, folks. No one is exempt to it, we will all experience it at some point in our lives. It will manifest in different ways, at different times, but WE aren’t anxiety — it’s just something that happens due to things that are happening around us. I’m happy to say that I automatically texted her back, saying “(I think) anxiety is a universal experience.”

I have to share this, because this felt like such a defining moment. Funny that it came in a few touches of my thumbs, but honestly it really made me feel Empowered today. I hope that this makes you pause — reassess — and breathe inward, realizing we all, as human beings, experience all the range of emotions, ups and downs. They are not us, we are infinitely more complex and marvelous and too wonderfully made by God to be wittled down to any one fleeting feeling.

God bless y’all and have a great day, embracing all that you are, every single thought, feeling, mood and remember — they are not you, not the beautiful, unique and special being that God has called and continues to call you to be and become. They are just part of the natural framework of this natural body, and it’s okay that we experience all the range of emotions. That’s what it is to be truly human — not a label.

Copyright Andrea Weir-Laverde, 2021